Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

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Happy Mother's Day!

I'll admit, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with this (and many other) holidays.  I absolutely believe mothers should be honored and thanked.  I recognize that sometimes, if there's isn't a special day set aside many people will neglecting doing something special, or recognizing the mothers in their lives.

I do not appreciate the commercialization of this day. I am concerned about how this day can have an unintentional impact on others, such as:

People who's mothers have died.
Mothers estranged from their children/children estranged from their mothers.
Children who have never had someone to call mother.
Women who have given children through adoption to other families to raise.
Women who want to be mothers, but are unable to be a mother.
Women who have lost children in pregnancy or as infants.
Women who have lost grown children.

I have spoken with women who avoid going out, or going to church on this day, because flowers are handed out to mothers, and they sit there, mourning their infertility, or suffering in the knowledge that others don't recognize that they are a mother, even though they have no living children.

Maybe I'll still end up being unintentionally insensitive.  I hope not, because that's not my goal.

To my family and friends who have born children who didn't have a chance to live and grow, or who have given children to other families to raise - Happy Mother's Day.  You are a mother, and you are not forgotten.

To my friends and family who want children to love and raise up, Happy Mother's Day - you have been a mother to my children, and to other people's children. Thank you for your giving heart.

To my family and friends who have raised children, only to have them pass on too soon - Happy Mother's Day.  You are loved and remembered.

To my friends and family who have estranged relationships with their children or mothers, Happy Mother's Day.  Your experience of this day is complex, with no one or right answer.  I know that oftentimes you love and hope, even if from a distance of miles or years.

To all of you who no longer can say "Happy Mother's Day" to your mothers, I'm glad that you have memories of the wonderful women who have been mothers in your life. Thank you for loving and honoring those who have gone before us, and those who are mothers for us now.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

closing in on summer

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We're getting close to summer.

Lawns are being mowed, we've started some kale and lettuce in our containers.  I have some strawberry plants to replace the old ones I managed to kill last year.  So, we'll have a small container garden up and running.

Elizabeth is doing very well with reading.  She's reading aloud confidently, and sounding out unfamiliar large words. 

Nathanael is expressing interest in letters and words, so we've done some occassional work.

Adelle's interest in language is mostly toddler-ish.  "Mommeeee!! Up! Up!" Or "Da! Hi!" Her other words are hit or miss - words that she used before, she doesn't use now.  And, instead of saying words, she prefers to nod yes to anything, and everything.  At least now animals are getting different sounds instead of the ubiquitous "grunt, grunt."

I'm experiencing mommy guilt, but as we all know, that's nothing new.  Right now, my guilt is centering around the fact that I haven't printed Adelle's one year portraits yet.  She's almost 18 months.  Maybe I'll take the 18 month portraits, and then just send them all at the same time.  2 for 1!

I did a 5k in April, and managed to finish in less than 45 minutes.  My mom came in exactly 3 minutes behind me, and we were both glad to be done walking/running.  I now have a running buddy here, though, so I'm hopeful that our bimonthly get-togethers will spur me on to further progress.

I finally (quickly) found a geocache I'd been hunting and missing.  Don't know why it didn't occur to me to look on the other side. Probably I was trying to keep young children from falling into the icy water?

I'm getting rid of stuff.  I have boxes of things piled up.  I'm planned to do a yard sale at some point this summer, and the rest will be given to Salvation Army/Freecycle.  So.Much.Clutter.

I am grateful my city offers curbside recycling.  I feel a lot better about throwing out old magazines, papers, and random whatevers.  And grateful for freecycle. I wonder if I could freecycle my extra body weight?  Jude hasn't been too interested in swapping metabolisms with me, so I guess it's all on me now.

 My mental self-talk involves a lot of "I'm fat."  Which is probably because people didn't recognize me when they hadn't seen me for a few years. And I've gained about 20 pounds since November 2011. Not cool. Midlife metabolism change?  Probably. (yay 34!) General sense of stress/emotional eating? Absolutely! (You mean I shouldn't seek validation in my food?!) I'd like to blame it on not having the genetic switch that makes me want to exercise.  I saw something about that on TV recently. Maybe I should be watching less TV.  But why, when there are so many yummy-looking recipes to make?  Especially the sugar-laden carby ones?

I have half a cow sitting in my freezer, waiting to be used. If I were 2/3 of my brothers, I'd totally be grilling that beef.  However, I feel my grill is inadequate, and I am embarassed to bring it out to grill on my patio. It's a teeny camping charcoal grill.  I should get over it.  Who cares what the neighbors, with their big, shiny, no-squatting-to-turn-the-meat, propane grills think.  I got beef. And summer is made for grilling.

And spring, and fall, and winter if you ask my brother.
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