Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day

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Happy Mother's Day!

I'll admit, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with this (and many other) holidays.  I absolutely believe mothers should be honored and thanked.  I recognize that sometimes, if there's isn't a special day set aside many people will neglecting doing something special, or recognizing the mothers in their lives.

I do not appreciate the commercialization of this day. I am concerned about how this day can have an unintentional impact on others, such as:

People who's mothers have died.
Mothers estranged from their children/children estranged from their mothers.
Children who have never had someone to call mother.
Women who have given children through adoption to other families to raise.
Women who want to be mothers, but are unable to be a mother.
Women who have lost children in pregnancy or as infants.
Women who have lost grown children.

I have spoken with women who avoid going out, or going to church on this day, because flowers are handed out to mothers, and they sit there, mourning their infertility, or suffering in the knowledge that others don't recognize that they are a mother, even though they have no living children.

Maybe I'll still end up being unintentionally insensitive.  I hope not, because that's not my goal.

To my family and friends who have born children who didn't have a chance to live and grow, or who have given children to other families to raise - Happy Mother's Day.  You are a mother, and you are not forgotten.

To my friends and family who want children to love and raise up, Happy Mother's Day - you have been a mother to my children, and to other people's children. Thank you for your giving heart.

To my family and friends who have raised children, only to have them pass on too soon - Happy Mother's Day.  You are loved and remembered.

To my friends and family who have estranged relationships with their children or mothers, Happy Mother's Day.  Your experience of this day is complex, with no one or right answer.  I know that oftentimes you love and hope, even if from a distance of miles or years.

To all of you who no longer can say "Happy Mother's Day" to your mothers, I'm glad that you have memories of the wonderful women who have been mothers in your life. Thank you for loving and honoring those who have gone before us, and those who are mothers for us now.


Anonymous said...

These are great things to have said. We need to also remember moms who are estranged from a child for some reason it another. Thanks for posting.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for these thoughtful and kind words. As someone whose mom has passed away I kind of get depressed when I see everyone's statuses showing pics of them and their mom and using the platform to say some kind words. Your blog today reminded me that I can still honor my mom today but also honor all of those women who have been like a mom to me. And there are several of them!!

Thanks again,


Carrie said...

Anonymous - Thank you for the reminder. Estrangement is so different from one person to another. My greatest wish is for peace and reconcillation, but I know that's not always in the cards, or even desired by all parties.

I'm also reminded of those who have been involved in adoption. I've edited in a way that I hope is appropriate.

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